I wrote this in early 2006, hence the reason why it's a little old.

Volkswagen Polo GTI

Volkswagen are the true pioneers of the mass produced front drive hot hatch, the Golf MkI GTI, in 1976. It took the market by storm rather to Volkswagen's surprise and by the end of 1979 had produced over 58,000 units! This was a seriously cool car, and is still considered to be one of the greatest classic hot hatches today alongside the Peugeot 205 GTi. For the Golf though its elevated status isn't through a tasteful bodykit, or a bigger engine, nor even fantastic handling, it was the perfect blend of all three in a versatile two box form. You could storm down your favourite road one day, take the children to school the next and cart a chest of draws the following.

Over the years Volkswagen steadily lost the plot with the GTI, each iteration got heavier and slower than the previous one as each generation passed and Volkswagen lost the purity of the original. That is until the latest, which has been received with critical acclaim but only does through being twice as heavy and twice as powerful as the original. The spiritual successor to the original may not actually be a Golf at all, but a Polo. The Polo GTI.

It weighs 138kg less, has the 1.8 Turbo out of the Audi TT, Seat Leon Cupra R and other VW Group cars. It even looks good. The front looks similar to the current GTI and transforms the dowdy Polo into an aggressive hatch. The seats inside have even gone retro, with a similar tartan pattern to the MkI GTI. Being a Volkswagen means superb build quality, with sophisticated interior appointments.

Unfortunately reading further into the specs does cause raise a few worrying issues. First off, the most important too, it's already released here in Australia way before the slated May for Europe. It's being built in China. South African built Golf's have had quality issues, but there has been little news as to the quality of Chinese built Polo's.

Secondly, it has electric steering. No car with electric steering has been commented with talkative feedback, which is a worry. The front suspension has MacPherson struts (good), the rear has a torsion beam (bad), but does mean less weight over the rear wheels. All these worries are relative though, until a thorough road test has been fulfilled.

Nonetheless, these oversights can be quickly dismissed by the price tag. At $26,990, this has to be the cheapest hot hatch you can buy at the moment. The Clio Trophy costs another $5000 above, which is a lot of money. A true bargain hot hatch? I think so

Desire is a Cruel Mistress

I think there is something wrong with me. This is not a recent development, but I’m lusting after something foolish. It’s part of my genetic makeup to lust after foolish things, unattainable objects of desire, probably the reason why you can keep a man happy for hours with a few issues of Ralph, Sports Illustrated and Maxim.

Not only wish for things we can’t possibly get, but we go to the point of actually working out the finer points of acquiring said object, and living with it, on a day to day basis. I know that a few years ago, I had a desire for a Porsche 928. I know now that this car costs a lot of money to keep on the road, and when new cost in excess of $180,000, so it had bills for a car that costs $180,000. As a fuel pump boy, with a measly $50 a week, even if I had the means to purchase said car, I wouldn’t even be able to keep it on the road. The engine didn’t just consume petrol like it was going out of fashion, but drank it in huge eye watering gulps.

But for some reason or another, cars from the late 70’s to the late 80’s with rather large engines have hit a soft point inside of me. Have you seen a Mercedes-Benz AMG bodied SEC500? In white? I know I did, and boy, do I want that car. This soft point isn’t just relegated to cars set back in bad hair do time.

My father for example drives a Toyota Landcrusier. For the past 13 years, we’ve had one variant or another in our family. These lumbering behemoths are superb off road, but the latest one has charmed me over. Sure, it’s a face lifted model over the previous one we had. I don’t care that it has GPS, leather seats, and a refrigerated glove box. Or even a light on the passenger side to let them know that their seatbelt isn’t on. Or that the steering wheel can be adjusted with electricity. No, for me it’s the engine. It’s a diesel.

I know, diesel equals great economy (which shows how tight you are), and also provides lots of torque which is useful for towing, apparently. To try and give this car some credibility at commuting, the Toyota engineers have gone and bolted a great big whopping turbo on the side. This car, not only now has the torque to tow a mountain, but it also now has power. And a lovely turbo whistle. Plus, to annoy people following me, when you flatten it, not only does the car shoot forward with alarming speed for a lumbering behemoth, but it also sully’s the air behind with a cloud of black smoke. Fantastic.

But for me, the most recent trend is the aching desire for a Jaguar XJS. I know the electrics are made by Lucas, Price of Darkness, the body rots at the merest sight of dampness, and the rear suspension from the factory, was too soft to hold up the car, I still want one. It will break down every 20 minutes. It will cause me pain in the hip pocket. But tell me how many times you’ve seen one drive by, and haven’t drooled at it.