Nissan Note

Scientists have just informed National Geographic that by as soon as 2060 there will be no redheads left in the world. Think about this. No more red hair jokes, no more fiery tempers. Apparently around 2% of the world’s population actually has red hair.

The only solution that the scientists have given us is to move to Scotland, where the recessive gene is apparent in approximately 40% of the population – which leads to a greater chance in small ginger nuts running around. Though, confusingly, this will only reduce the rate of our red headed friends disappearing, as the world becomes even more populated. Which lead me onto another thought – what will we look like in 100 years? Our world is becoming increasingly globalised, what happens when all the people in Asian countries have enough wealth to travel abroad? And continue the population intermingling? By then, including Indians and the Middle East, Asians will surely count for more than 50% of the world’s population. Western countries seem to see a decline in population numbers, as birth rates are below the magic 2.7 children mark. Just amongst my close friends, the most children that they want ranges between one and two. Certainly not 3. Which means that us Westerners may be a dieing breed. Rejoice bin Laden!

So where does this leave the Nissan Note? I’m trying to think of something vaguely interesting to write about this nondescript car. It’s styled by committee, rather than a single entity to appeal to all, and succeeds in appealing to none. It has to be the most politically correct vehicle you could purchase at the moment.

In an effort to please Uncle Scrooge’s offspring accountants, Renault was brought into the picture to share costs. The result? More designers wanted input to give each car their own brand identity, which in turn makes what may have been a vaguely interesting design even more bland. Some of the most fondly remembered cars and sales success stories have been elegantly designed and proportioned vehicles – something this car is not. Like red haired people, all the interesting bits got bred out in series of design meetings.

Instead, all this car brought to the world were a series of ill timed exploding car adverts, a day after the Glasgow airport terrorist attempt. Not something to be remembered by. Maybe in the facelift Nissan could add a red hair option.

At least it would be different.